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| I have made a decision.
If you care to continue reading about my life and the non-events there-in, you can check out my livejournal: Theo_the_honest
Why you may ask? Don't really know. But it is happening. So take that.
I might still post here, but don't hold your breath. You might run out of air.
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| There has been only one thing in the latter half of '08 that has gone according to plan, but I am not going to get into that at the moment. Suffice it to say that for the first time ever, the guy I voted for actually won. But moving on to the point of this post.
If you read this with any regularity, which I realized is more than used to read this, you are well aware of the suicide that occurred earlier this year in my life. Well today, at 7:30 in the morning, I heard the life leave my grandmother's body. It is a sound that I can not, and will not, try to describe. If you have had the misfortune of hearing this heartrending sound, then you know what I mean. Hearing death is something that I never thought I would have to add to the resume of my life, but it seems that plan has also found its way into the toilet.
I loved Grandy more than I can really describe, and while she had the ability to be a real bitch sometimes, I know she loved me more than she could ever fully express. I was literally the last person to see her alive and that fact is going to haunt me for some time. I know that there was nothing I could have done, that it was already written in the sands of time that this was to be her last day on Earth, but that doesn't change the fact that I was in the house when her spirit left this plane. I realize that I am not really making sense, while at the same time I am making perfect sense. As my status proclaims at the moment, I just need things to stop being crazy so I can get my footing back. I don't blame any particular event for my current state of mind, but the combination of suicide, break-up, and family loss is about my limit. Hopefully Dad's Christmas pork chops will aid in the recovery process. It can't hurt, I know that much!
What I hate the most is that I have been so completely negative lately, and I don't like to think of myself as a negative person. I want to be happy, light-hearted, and bouncy. I can find these traits within me, I just hope I can find the time to pull them out.
Thanks for reading more of my life than you probably really wanted to know about. It means a great deal to me. | | |
| The end of another semester is upon us and I am not so sure I know how I feel about it. For those that are not aware, I will be graduating in May, but I will be sticking around for a while longer while I get an MLA in Film Studies. Some may ask why I would want to do this. I will tell you: Because it is free. I am getting that shizz paid for by Student Life. First time doing almost nothing has paid off for me. But yeah, I am not really going through the stress that seems to be associated with the ending of college.
And yet I am. It is weird to think that almost 4 years ago I was considerably dumber than I am now. Not that I am really that much smarter, but you get what I am saying. Also the fact that when I tell people that I am not leaving in May they look at me like I have the plague really makes me feel like a winner. Not that I care all too much, but it does start to wear on you after a while.
I get quite a few ideas for really great sounding posts when I am nowhere near my computer. Then when I am, I can't remember a damn thing. This is probably a sign that what I thought of was not that great to begin with. Whatever.
I am being required by my lady friend to read all the Harry Potter books over the holiday break, which I do plan on doing. It will be interesting to read something that has the same number of pages as the book I read this semester, but half the reading level. I hope some of it sticks...
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| http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gOvWdPXukO9JfR9ixHz2ppMqzaAwD93HBDTO0
This kind of shit pisses me off so much. People's inability to understand the meaning symbolism baffles me. Plus these people are BLIND! How do they know how anything is depicted?
That was below the belt. I apologize. But seriously, get educated.
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| At 5:07 PM today, I received a message informing me that one of the pillars of my life had shot himself in his garage. Rickey had been going through a really rough time and had apparently had enough. What is worse is that both of my parents were walking up to the door when he pulled the trigger. They are devastated as is the entire Caputo's Gym team. I have spent the last 3 hours trying to rationalize why he would do this and I can't. I know he is in a better place now and that he is finally at peace with the world and all the shit he had to deal with is no more.
We will get through this. One day at a time.
R.I.P Rick. You were my brother. I am sorry I never got to tell you that.
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